ponytail holders



Youngest child has decided to grow her hair.

I wonder if we are observing a kind of population cycle with these covered rubber bands. They appear to multiply on their own, through some kind of secret cellular division when we aren't looking, and then just when the house seems to be at carrying capacity, the population shrinks abruptly and I have to buy more before they disappear altogether. More study is needed to determine the key factors in this cycle. My current working theory explores the idea that such population shifts are related to the fluctuations in the number of unmatched black socks in the household. Other theories are welcome...


I think that they breed during the twilight hours. My cats try to keep the population down by soaking them, in attempts to drown them, in their water dish nightly. Unfortunately they have developed the ability to breathe under water. Occasionally a faulty gene develops in the strain and they dwindle until another new chromosome is introduced (this is evident in the color and lack of metal bindings attached to the body of the beast). The cycle continues.

Everybody knows that wire coat hangers have sexual activities while in coat closets but wooden hangers do not. Could the ponytail holders be talking with the coat hangers?

Our girls are older now and that plus the fact that I ended my own six year pony tale stint a few years ago now has meant a dramatic decrease in the self replication of these loopy and mysterious fiends.



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